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Entry #4

Jimmy Jonesonburger

2010-04-22 04:51:56 by Rottenberry

Jimmy Jonesenburger poured the thick waffle batter into the waffle iron early one morning. He proceeded to shut the iron closed and then rotate it 180 degrees as is custom with most professional-level waffle irons. He then went promptly to bed as he had a near fatal case of narcolepsy.

Jimmy Jonesenburger awoke the next day in the mid-afternoon the sound of someone's shrill screaming. However, since he had a severe case of narcolepsy he promptly fell back into bed and went to sleep.

Jimmy Jonesenburger awoke the next day in the middle of the night to the sound of dreadful screams. He stood up, walked to the door, and then fell back into bed as he had a very grave case of narcolepsy.

Jimmy Jonesenburger woke the next morning to a piercing screeching. He proceeded down the stairs and then fell asleep, tumbling down the remaining flight of steps because of a dreadful case of narcolepsy.

Jimmy Jonesenburger didn't wake up the next day...

Jimmy Jonesenburger DID however wake up the next, NEXT day to the sounds of incessant howling and after lifting himself off of his concrete floor managed to stumble into the kitchen where he found the waffle iron engulfed in a pocket of thick black smoke. He grasped the handles of the waffle iron and twisted it another 180 degrees before opening it, and then fell asleep due to a serious case of narcolepsy.

Jimmy Jonesenburger woke up the following evening to the sounds of painful groaning next to him. His eyes adjusted to the light and there he saw the mere shell of what was once a respectable waffle, laying on the kitchen floor. This crispy thin waffle shell turned to Jimmy, gasped, and with its dying breath uttered out, "The horror! The horror!" The writer of this tale then fell asleep because he was tired of Jimmy Jonesenburger and his damn narcolepsy.

Jimmy Jonesonburger


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